I use to be very smart and ambitious. I have always lacked any kind of common sense but at least I use to have something rattling around in my head. It feels like I’m slowly growing more stupid. I can almost hear the ding of my IQ dropping point by point. Ding, ding, ding.
I’d like to feel confident in blaming the government. The chemtrails, the fluoride in the water, the media, propaganda, conspiracies.
But if I were to blame the government then I’d be taking the pussy’s way out instead of being honest with myself.
I’ve stop giving any kind of shit.
I’ve always been one for killing brain cells by any means possible, but when I stopped giving a shit I started doing a lot if drugs and drinking and stopped learning and expanding my general knowledge.
I use to care. I use to love to learn. I use to think, a lot. It seems like all my thoughts consist of now are the same words over and over and over and over and fucking over. A lyric from a song, over and over and over. A single sentence, over and over. I don’t know how to think anymore. I hardly even know how to communicate. I mean sure, I can talk, if spoken to first and about something interesting, but starting a conversation is hard because I can’t think of what to say because all I’m thinking is the SAME FUCKING THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND FUCKING OVER.
I’m drowning in stupidity.